Avoid Making This Mistake When He's Distant

have you ever just sensed that
something was off with your man, but you didn't
know what?

Of course... he wouldn't talk to you about it or
tell you. He was just quiet and withdrawn.

Trying to figure out what your man is thinking
can be a dangerous game.

Not only does trying to figure him out often
end up pushing your man away on accident, it
usually drives you a little nuts.

Which only makes things worse.

Stop wondering and worrying when you don't have
to anymore. It's time you got to the heart of
the matter and stopped going in circles with
men and relationships.

I've put together an entire in-depth
program all about what men really think, feel
and want with women.

And of course I cover why they do those "guy
things" that drive so many women crazy in
relationships (and how to avoid them yourself).

here's a letter I got
recently from a reader that I wanted to respond
to...

In my response I share some tips and insights
into what's going on with her man as she's sensing
something wrong but can't put her finger on it,
while he won't talk to her.

Read on to find out what's going on...


>>>>Letter From A Reader

Hi Christian

I have read your e-book which has helped answer
a lot of my questions about men and relationships.
I am also in the process of listening to your
"ready for Love" CDs.

I have been having a long distance relationship
with a man with whom the chemistry and the
connection was amazing from the start. We have
been seeing each other for almost 4 months now. We
fell in love and he has confessed it so to me. He
also has mentioned to me that he feels I am his
soul mate.

He travels around the world working for an oil
company and during his last trip which has taken
a month things are changing. He does not call
me as often, does not write emails to me as
often and blames it on the time difference and
mood differences and being stressed and busy.
All started to get worse when in my frustrations
I started feeling anxiety and reacting by also
not calling him as often and being cold and
distant.

Before I started acting this way I did ask why
he was not calling and communicated that
expectation with him. I think he is pulling away
and so not know what to do. I am in love with him
and do not know if I should bother him by calling
or I should just stand back and wait for him to
make his move when ready. He was very attentive
and used to call a lot more before even when he
was traveling.

Did I act needy? Is there hope? What should I do?

In need of your help.

-A.

>>>>My Response

Ok, I'm glad you asked.

Here's something you should know-

It is possible for a man to sense what you're
calling "needy" without you even saying anything.

And...

It's possible that even though your normal
feelings of wondering what's going on aren't
wrong or needy in an unhealthy way... your man
might FEEL like you're being too needy.

The result- he's not showing you the same level
of interest and attraction not because you did
something wrong, but because of how he is FEELING.

So what's the difference between what is
actually needy, and what a man thinks is needy and
unattractive?

It's the way you communicate how you're
feeling to him. You might even think of this as
the "energy" that you're bringing to him and your
relationship.

I'm going to tell you what's really going on
with a man when this kind of thing is happening.

But first, I need you to do something.

I need you to stop what you're doing right now.

Then I need you to stop your mind, stop your
busy thoughts, and stop trying to "figure
everything out."

I'm going to suggest something you might not
understand at first, but I know it's really going
to help.

You're on the brink of becoming your own worst
enemy here.

Why?

Because you've got a growing case of what I
call the "over-analyzing blues."

This is when you know there's something going
on with your man that you don't get.

And since you don't know what it is, and
you're feeling a bit uncertain about things,
something bad starts to happen -


Your mind starts to fill in the blanks of
each little thing he does and says with some
kind of negative or fearful thought (even if
there's nothing really wrong).

And this creates a negative feedback loop
where-

The more you feel uncertain and unnerved by
not knowing what's going on...

The more things feel weird between you...

And thus the worse you feel...

And then the more negative stuff about him
and his actions you think and worry about...

And so the more he acts strangely or more
distant around you.

The cycle feeds itself and down and down
you go.

STOP THE MADNESS.

What you focus on is what you get more of.
So if you're focused on what might be wrong,
guess what?

You're going to not only find something,
you'll create something to be wrong in the
meantime- and nothing will happen to make
anything BETTER.

I want you to do something right now.

I want you to clear your mind of all your
thoughts about him.

I want you to picture yourself sitting in
your own personal paradise- whatever or
wherever that may be.

It could be on a white sand beach on a
tropical island, or it could be on top of a
rolling hill looking out over a plain.

Whatever it is, I want you to picture yourself
in a place that calms and soothes you.

Now, I want you to picture something for me-

I want you to picture your guy there beside
you, with his arms around you.

I want you to picture how loved and cared
for and appreciated you feel with him, and how
incredible it is when you're both connected this
way.

Go ahead and picture this.

Now, take that feeling that you're having of
the love and connection you feel to him, and take
a minute to appreciate what it is that you and
he share.

And take a minute to appreciate that feeling
and feel GRATEFUL for him and who he is.

Let the love that you feel inside you grow
stronger and richer and brighter.

Now that you can feel this love, I want you
to think about how your man responds to you when
you are this way with him.

Does he reject this kind of feeling from you?

Does he withdraw from this?

No, he doesn't.

Like other men, he CRAVES being with the woman
who is in this place of love, and who brings
this incredible and irresistible energy to him.

Now that you see this... let me ask you-

How does this energy and love that you share,
which your man craves and is the reason he's with
you... how does that compare to this uncertain and
worried energy and over-analyzing that you're
bringing to him and your relationship now?

Think about it for a second.

..

..

And now, think about how this energy could be
affecting him?

And how is it affecting you?

And how about your entire relationship?

Here's the first thing I'm getting at:

What if the reason your man seems to be more
distant or different with you isn't because
something is really wrong?

What if the reason is what YOU are bringing
to him and your relationship with what you're
thinking and worrying about?

The energy you're putting out there to him
doesn't sound like it's the kind that would
inspire him to feel energized and passionate
around you.

And what do men do when they're around a
woman who's going through intense emotions
that they don't understand?

What do men do when they don't know what
to do emotionally?

They hang back.

They "play it cool."

Or they withdraw to a place where it's easy
and there's no heavy emotional stuff going on.

If you think you might be worrying about your
relationship, and you find that this only seems
to make your man MORE DISTANT... you might want to
put 2 and 2 together here.

He might be feeling disconnected or distant
from you because you've got so much going on
in your head that he doesn't get or even know
about.

Danger! This is where you start turning
perfectly healthy and normal situations into
the kind of situations men can't help but be
baffled and frustrated by.

And more importantly, if you keep worrying
about this and feeling uncertain and turn to
him for answers to why you feel the way you do...
guess what?

He's likely not going to stand there with
open arms waiting to hear and understand how
you feel, and explain himself.

It would be great if men would always do this.

It would be great if a man would always be
your "rock".

What happens when they aren't?

Should it all fall apart?

The truth is that men don't often know what's
going with you, or why.

They just know if something feels heavy or
intense to them.

And when this heavy energy starts to take
over in your relationship... this is where a man
will want to ESCAPE.

Which only makes you feel worse and seems
to be a signal that something really is wrong.

Or is it?

By the way, I've created an all-in-one
resource that will show you exactly how men
think, what it means when they act the way you're
describing, and what to do about it that will
quickly have him feeling CONNECTED and ENGAGED
with you like it probably was in the beginning.

Men can and will predictably WITHDRAW once you
get down the road in your relationship.

Knowing what this means and how to handle it
is what can make all the difference, and can be
what separates you from any other woman a man has
ever dated by making him feel that you're the
right woman to be with.

Men get that magic "she's the one" feeling
not when they feel like they have to dig into
the little things to make your relationship work
but when it feels EASY.

Once you know how men really think and feel,
it's not only going to feel easy for him... it's
going to be EASY for YOU to get what YOU WANT
in your relationship.

And you having the relationship you want is
what this is really all about.

That's why it's time you stopped wondering
what in the world is going on with men, and
stopped feeling stuck or frustrated as the same
"issues" keep coming up with them.

What if those issues are things that keep
coming up because you haven't learned how to avoid
or move past them?

For all my very best tips and a complete guide
to what men think and want when it comes to women,
love and relationships, go check out my
"Inside The Mind Of A Man" program.

In this program I'll show you:

-The 8 Attraction Killers which are universal with
all men

-The 3 Stages of Maturity in a man's life, and how
to identify and understand where your man is,
and what this means about how he'll be with you
in your relationship

-What leads men to cheat, and the best ways to
PREVENT CHEATING in the first place

-What men really want and need to find in a woman
if they're going to want a long-term, or even
lifelong, love affair and relationship with you

-Exactly WHY men so often perceive women and their
feelings as NEEDY... and what to say and do so your
man not only listens to you but wants to know more

-And lots more...

There's so much I want you to know about men
that's going to instantly change the way you see
things and shift things for you...

And that's why I STRONGLY RECOMMEND you go and
check out what's in this program and take me up on
my special offer.

You can try my "Inside The Mind Of A Man"
program absolutely free before deciding if you
want to keep it.

All you have to do is go here right now and
I'll ship you a copy for you to try for 30 days.

It's really that simple. And no hassles, no
gotchas, no hidden fees if you don't absolutely
love it and want to keep it from all you'll be
getting from it about men.

I was really blown away by this email I got
the other day and I can't help but share it with
you.

This woman's love life was changed forever
in a few short moments...


>>>>Letter From A Reader

Dear Christian:

Several months ago, I purchased your "Ready for
Love" DVD program. It arrived, yet I didn't open
it for several months because I wasn't "ready"
for it.

I am 49 years old and spent 13 years with the man
of my dreams (11 of them married). He decided that
he didn't want to be a husband anymore and we
divorced in 2004.

For the past three years, I have been making
mistakes, either not dating (hiding in my
apartment and just being "MOM" to my 13 year old
daughter), dating the wrong men or just being
downright miserable.

One weekend, when I couldn't take it anymore, I
opened the package and watched 3 of the DVDs. I
watched the other 2 the following weekend. I was
shocked at how much I learned about myself after
viewing your program. I will highlight the three
things that were most profound to me and have
helped me tremendously:

Being able to articulate what love means to me,
how I wanted it, yet blocked my ability to receive
it. I have learned how to create a clear
definition of what I truly want (this was hard).

Addressing my fears and looking at my behavior
that stemmed from my fears, which in turn drew
me to the wrong men or sabotaged a potentially
good relationship. ("We attract what we project.")

Understanding that a man is NOT the center of my
universe, knowing that I am a goddess and that if
I nurture myself more, I will attract and receive
what I truly deserve! (thank YOU and Dr. Amir)

Now for the success story -- thanks to your
program and my newfound bravery, I began
communicating with a guy I met online. He was
saying all of the right things, but I still found
myself a little scared. Nevertheless, by applying
your principles, I got up the courage to go out on
a date with him. Everything was fantastic, but in
the back of my mind, I kept referring to what I
learned from your program.

Let's just say that five weeks later, things are
still fantastic between us. We talk a lot, laugh a
lot and share special times together. It's not
necessarily about "us" or the "future." I'm not
trying to prove to him how "worthy" I feel because
he likes me. He is NOT the center of my
universe -- I still travel, go to the theater with
friends and hang out with my daughter and treat
myself like a goddess. However, this is so far the
best man that I have met in a very long time. He
has shared with me the fact that he feels "lucky"
to have met me! The old me would have wondered
what he was feeling so lucky about. Now I know.

Thanks Christian. You have made a believer out of
me.

-C.C.


>>>>My Response

C.C.- he is lucky to have met you, and so am I.

Thanks for sharing and you made my day.